Happy

This is the first day in a long time that I can say that I am genuinely happy. There's no other word for it but happy. I know that sounds completely lame and "oh my gosh...you haven't been happy since when?" Sorry to disappoint a few but hey...it's been a long road and I am happy to say that I feel we're on the path to something new and awesome.

We got our tax refund in the bank today and I guess you can say that's what started off the whole happy day. I took the time to call everyone I needed to call to notify them of the refund and all that I had to do to go along with the refund (which is another blog of itself) and I was finally able to breath a deep sigh of relief! Everything just seems right with the world (other than seeing the first Hilliary Clinton ad on TV!). Then it hit me...it's sad that it took money to brighten my day. I know they say that money doesn't buy you happiness. Well, I'm here to say that it sure helps. Try going through a week wondering where you're going to come up with money so that your husband can get to work. Or maybe how your girls are going to have milk in their cereal without $3.00 to get it. It was such a hard couple weeks but I finally feel....free. In a sense...happy!

Then I talked to Mark Stier, my old boss. Seems they have a spot that's going to be opening up soon at the church I worked at and they want to talk to me on Monday about taking the job. I am...well...happy! There's no other words for it. If this works out I would be...happy. More than that though. Eternally grateful. I wish I never took that job at Dell. Well, I can't say that. I met the two most inspiring girls while I worked there. Cassie. She was the one who I was most close with at the beginning. We were a like in many ways. I prayed for a Christian friend and God gave me Cassie. I just found out that she was able to quit Dell and has a job that's opening up back in KY for her. I'm so happy that she got out of that situation and was able to head back home. Thanks Cassie for the memories, the laughs, and the tears. I loved coming in to Dell in the morning and sharing our raccoon eyes with each other! The second was Toya. Toya and I got tight at the end. I really, in my heart of hearts, think if I had tried hard enough to get through this Dell thing it would have been with the help of Toya. She was so encouraging. Who knew that she was a Christian too. Non-denominational...thank you Jesus. One thing that I will take away from Toya is from a sermon that she had shared with me from her church. Her pastor said that when you're in times of trial that you shout out to God, "Hallelujah, Glory to God, Thank you Jesus!" Because it's in times of trials that we learn and we need to thank the Lord for those trials because it leads to mountain top joys. I find myself saying those three phrases quite often now. Not only in times of trials but in times of joy. I said it a lot today. I think Toya knew I was thinking of her while I was praising my Lord cause I got a call from her! Thank you Jesus for my friend Toya. We are so different but so much the same. I am proud that I met her because of her and her willingness to open up about her faith we have a bond that will last for all time. When I think of these two girls...it makes me happy!

OK, enough for today. I need to get going and rest my happy head! Hallelujah, Glory to God, Thank you Jesus!

Solemn

I guess that’s a good word to describe my mood. Things have for the most part been going great but I’m back again to feeling down. Something happened within the past two days so set me off balance and I need to focus ahead and know that things are going to get better…it’s just a process. Aiva has been a little helter skelter and has set me into a tailspin as well. I just figure her out sometimes. When she doesn’t take a nap in the afternoon she’s a beast that night but even if she does do a nap she’s just as beastly …specially this week. I’m at my whit’s end. If I can just get through the next week I think things will be back to normal. I’ve been going through the book Purpose Driven Life and I can tell that God has been working on my heart. I should have read the book sooner but God has perfect timing. Who knows I probably wouldn’t have been able to “get it” until now. I needed to go through what I did in order to fully grasp what God wanted to tell me. I’m dreading the book ending because I can really understand the author. Like I say about our pastor, he brings the cookies to the first shelf. It just clicks…probably a God thing more than a coincidence! All in all, this past month I have learned a lot and I can hardly wait to see what else he has in store for me. I’ve asked a couple girls from church if they wanted to do a study called Captivating and I can hardly wait for that to start up. Not only so I can keep up with my quiet time but also to have some accountability and encouragement from other Christian women. I’ll keep you up to date and let you know how it goes but until then I’ll keep praying that God’s hand be over the ones who are thinking about joining and that God’s will be done through the group. I’m trying not to dwell on this “thing” that happened yesterday but it’s been hard. Very consuming…help me God to lean on you and give me strength to look past my troubles. Bring me to your feet and help me to focus on your merciful face and into the arms of Jesus.