Be Still

Today I went for a walk and I had a great time praying. It was one of those times that everything fell easily from my mouth and I felt the Holy Spirit moving on the insides. Sounds creepy but true. I have been feeling like crap all day long and I've just been in a crappy mood. I've been in one of those poor me moods. You know the one...everyone is to blame but me. I work harder than everyone else. I'm tired and no one cares. No one can see how to fix it but I can and can't say anything. Why am I in this situation? Why do I put myself in this situation? Everything and anything is not right.

I could go on and on with all the conversations I kept telling myself. Finally, I heard BE STILL. As I walked my brain turned off and nothing mattered anymore. The accusations were gone. My feelings evaporated and for just a minute I could breath. There were no pent up emotions. There were no rapid heart beats. I was still. For just those few minutes I felt free. I felt like all would be OK. Then the voices came back. As I tried to filter them, I heard that still small voice again tell me to BE STILL.

As I walked, I continued to focus not on what I have done for others but what HE has done for me. Christ could very easily say these same things right back to me that I was saying about other people but he doesn't. He says to BE STILL...know that I am God.

I continued praying for my girls who were at school. The things they were encountering today. The people who were coming across their way. I prayed that they would be a light and that they would find just a moment and BE STILL.

I prayed for my husband and even though I didn't like him this morning, that God would help me to love him like only He could love him. That I would allow my husband to lead me instead of me leading my husband. This is something I struggle with day in and day out. I prayed that God would change me instead of  my husband like I've prayed so many times before. I prayed that my husband would find time to BE STILL.

In my world, it is so hard to find time to BE STILL. I'm a multitasker and there's just not a second to just sit and do nothing but listen for what God has to tell me. I don't have the patience or the time for that but sometimes God creates those moments that we so desperately need. He helps carve out the time to cast our cares on him. He helps us by taking our burdens off of our backs and carrying it himself.

Why does he do it? Cause he loves us. Why o why can't I love him like that? I prayed that I would find opportunities to BE STILL. No matter how difficult it is to break away...I have to. He listens to us...we need to listen to him.

I'm Back!

I'm finally back from vacation! We had a great time but I'm certainly glad to be back! It's nice to go away but so many times you need a vacation to recover from your vacation! We went to Destin, Florida and had a great time! Already looking forward to next year :) I, however, will sit out from being the event coordinator. I think I had a little too much on the agenda! I was originally going with the idea of relaxing on the beach and just hanging out enjoying the sun and surf (with sunscreen on, of course!). What actually happened was that we had a packed schedule with not only sun and surf but a lot of extra stuff for the kids and adults. Despite being busy, every day ended with the feeling of excitement that we still had days to go before the end of the vacation. So many times, vacations just wiz by and you don't get to really enjoy them. Not this time! Every day was an adventure and it was so fun to look forward to what the next day brought.

While on vacation, I tracked calories and did amazing...til our travel days home. By that time, I felt the need to reward myself for doing a stellar job and thought I needed fries and dessert (AKA Milkshake). If I would have skipped the reward fest, I probably would have lost weight. All in all, I gained 2 REAL pounds. I say REAL pounds because I had a lot of water weight that I got rid of pretty quick. The few days after vacation when we got home I was in a funk because of my reward fest and it took me a few days to get back on track. I think I'm good but I still have moments of weakness. Let's just say I'm looking forward to a new month - September can't come soon enough. Our real schedules will start and my races will be coming up. Even now, I still feel like it' summer despite the fact that school hast started (CRINGE)!

That's right...school has started. The girls are loving school even though they'll probably tell you something different. Even thought they started on Wednesday, it wore this mama out to get things ready in the morning, showers for the girls, work full time, and head home to do dinner and help with homework not to mention clean out the flower bed. WORE OUT does not begin to describe how I felt. By Friday I was ready for a long nap. That, unfortunately, didn't happen. How am I going to cope during a longer week, you may ask? Easy answer...some friends and I are starting to make freezer meals. I'm so excited! This will help tremendously! We're starting this Thursday :) Each of us are making 2 meals so after it's all said and done, we'll have 6 meals. We're doing another session in two weeks where we're swapping with a few other girls. Hopefully by doing this, I can pop a meal in the fridge in the morning and Nate can pop it in the stove on my way home. Can't wait til Thursday! I'll fill you in on how it goes!

Weigh Day

Had a weigh day yesterday and I lost 1 pound. I'll take it! Had a little bit of an epiphany yesterday as well. I always try to think of something that I really want to eat on weigh day. It's something that I normally don't have and it's something that I can treat myself to. Yesterday I wanted Canes but I opted for Wendy's...I was more set on the Cake Freestyle machine than anything. I wanted either Diet Dr. Pepper Cherry Vanilla or Diet Vanilla Coke. I kept hearing people talk about cheeseburgers so that's what I ordered. As I was ordering I saw these cookie and brownies next to me that I was convincing myself that I didn't need. I had the thought that I was going to breeze right thru he cheeseburger and that I should grab the brownie while I could since it was my "cheat meal". After much debating in my head, I decided against it. Victory #1. I left with my Diet Dr. Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper , single with cheese, and small fries. I had the fries which were great :) and then started in on the single with cheese. I was telling myself to pay attention to my hunger pains and if I felt full that I should stop. Half way thru, I felt like if I went any farther than I'd be miserable. I folded up the other half of cheeseburger and pitched it. Victory #2! An hour later, I felt horrible. Since I don't eat greasy foods like that very often my insides were telling me...actually yelling at me for putting my lunch inside it. My insides did not like my lunch selection ;) Victory #3. I call this a victory because it's a testament to how far I've come. I'm making wiser selections when I eat out and pay true attention to the things I put in my body. After still feeling like crap later in the day, it was a true confirmation that I'm not going to load up on crap when we're on vacation. it's not worth the pounds that it will add nor the time I will spend on the "can". Who wants to spend time in the bathroom when you can spend it on the beach?? After entering my numbers under my progress, I've seen that I've come along way. Even though it's taken me a long time to get to that point, I am changing. Slowly, my body is getting smaller but my confidence is getting bigger. I wanted to be at 170 by today but 186 isn't bad. I'm a work in progress! Here's to a great vacation :)

Packing

Packing is what we're going to be doing in the next few days. To tell you the truth, I haven't met anyone I know that likes to pack. If you do, I think there's something really wrong with you. The daunting task of making sure every article of clothing is washed before you start is what always stalls the process. You know that you're going to want that one piece of clothing that's at the bottom of the laundry pile. And you can't forget those one pair of undies that feel so much better when you travel. You know the ones! Least I mention that you can't take just any PJ's...especially when you're traveling with extended family. They have to be presentable PJ's...not the mix and match PJ's that are OK for home. The ones with the hole in the knees or armpit...again, you know the PJ's! Yep, that's me in the next few days. Let the laundry begin! I think my husband is about ready to strangle me because I'm being a laundry lunatic and monitoring what goes in the laundry basket because really...is it dirty enough to wash?? Have you worn it for at least 12 hours? If your family or kids are anything like mine they change about 4 times a day doubling the amount of laundry that REALLY needs done. It is what it is and everything will get done one way or another...most times it means me, the mom, staying up till 3AM and rising yet again at sunrise to make sure everything is just right before we head out. Since we leave in the middle of the day, I have to make sure it's all there before I leave for work because once I'm gone, I'm gone and there's not turning back. Again, my husband thinks I'm crazy because the car has basically got to be packed well before we have to leave. This is to ensure that all suitcases are packed, snacks are in their proper position, magazines are secured, and children are essentially accounted for. The only thing that would be missing is, well...me. I'll work for a few hours... or act like I'm working - everything will have been emailed, scheduled, confirmed, or sent out and I sit. Waiting for the clock to strike so I can leave. The seconds...the minutes...the hours creep by but eventually it happens. The clock strikes the magic number and it's officially time to go...to the bathroom that is. All the kids out of the car and one last pee stop! Once everyone has emptied out their bladders it's time to pile in the car and that's when my vacation begins. So until then, I'm counting down the seconds...the minutes...and the hours waiting for the clock to strike while I dig for my presentable PJ's!

Another Day...Another Dollar

Guess what?! Today is Friday...couldn't be happier to be at the end of the week. I had another successful weight loss this week. I lost a pound which doesn't sound like much but I'll take each and every ounce I can get! I'm feeling great today! Yesterday was weigh day so I treated myself to lunch at Chipotle with my mom...then treated myself to pizza out with my father in law who is in town from Nashville. Overall, I did well for the day but after eating out twice, I felt like I needed to put in some time with my trusty treadmill last night. Got in a good run and now I'm ready for the weekend. We've got a family get together with Nate's side of the family this weekend and it will be good to see everyone! Hoping for great weather and good memories!

We've got a couple of busy weeks ahead which I'm happy and sad about. We're heading on vacation soon which I'm so excited about but at the same time, once we get back it's back to school time. It will officially be the end to our summer. Things went so fast...so much faster than what they do during the school year. I treasure these days home with my kids. It's so nice to stay up late, wake up late and not having to worry about having an agenda. I hope we cope with school starting early this year. My only saving grace is that the kids get out in May next year and then the summer starts all over again.

Things will be very different for Nate as this will be his first year without kids during the day. The time has finally come for him to have all this free time I've been promising him from day one of his disability. He's not going to know what to do with all his free time. I'm sure he'll fill it up in no time but it will take some getting used to. I love that it also means that we can have our mornings together. The girls will get on the bus around 7:30 and I don't leave until a little after 8. 45 minutes of US time!

OK, gotta get back to work...after all it's another day...another dollar! Looking forward to the next few weeks. I'll fill you in as I can! Enjoy the rest of your summer!

Quiet On The Western Front

The girls are in bed and Nate is at his uncles trying to fix our lawn mower. I just got done going thru all our bills and paperwork trying to get caught up. Things have been so crazy at work that I haven't had a chance to pay some things so tonight was the night. I went thru my bag, got all the papers in order and went to town making payments. Lucky, the money is coming out of an HSA so it doesn't hurt as bad as if it were coming out of a checking account. I can almost see an end to our medical bills! By the beginning of September we will officially be medical debt free! It's been awhile and I can only hope and pray that the girls stay well enough to help us take money out of our HSA to pay ourselves back for money we've taken out of the bank for down payments for Aiva's tonsils and my surgery. That's right...I said Aiva's tonsils! That was about three years ago! Looking forward to building back up our savings. I've always been more the saver and Nate the spender so to see us move towards saving and restocking our savings account bring me much happiness.

I weighed in this week and maintained. I'm totally OK with is as it's normally a gain week for me. Hoping for great things next week! I'm continuing to run and work out which has been hard because of the heat! Looking forward to a cool front coming in this weekend. It makes working out more enjoyable (who am I fooling) when it's not as hot. Looking forward to a family day tomorrow! With Nate gone tonight, I was also able to catch up on cleaning so I don't have to tomorrow. Love that feeling of a free weekend to love on my family. Not sure what we're doing this weekend but I'm sure there will be tons of laughter and lots of tickles :)

Bad News....and Good News!

OK...so the triathlon that I've spent the past 4 months training for was called off on Friday. I was so bumbed...words can't describe how disappointed I was. All my clothes were laid out. I planned my meals just right. Mentally I was ready....and then I got the email. The beach where the tri was supposed to take place had experienced some flooding and the park was deemed unsafe. Again, the bad news is that it was canceled...even worse is that I can't go to the makeup date. This will keep me going for at least another year though. I'm ready for the challenge plus I've got some 5K's to run between now and then. I'm so excited for these races and they're going to be so fun in their own ways. The first one  is the Busy Babes Marathon 5K in Centerburg.

I'm running with several girls from church. We're all doing our own race between the 5K, 10K, and half marathon. Can't wait! A week later, me and my family are running in the Miles for Melanoma race in Columbus.

It's the first race in Columbus for this organization so I'm really happy to be there for the first race and plus I can support a cause close to my heart. PLUS I get to do it with my family. Ana is so stoked to do this race it's funny! She's been dying to run a race with me so now she gets her chance! The last race of the year is the Hot Chocolate 5K in Columbus.

I'm either running this with a coworker or with Nate. Either way I'm excited because this was my first ever 5K last year and it will be nice to go back and run in Downtown Columbus and get some yummy hot chocolate! The atmosphere was amazing last year and I can't wait to experience again!

I'm feeling great these days and I'm in the best shape that I've been in years. I can't wait to continue! Stay tuned for what happens next! I've got a weigh in tomorrow so we'll see what happens! Here's hoping for another lose!

2013

 Yikes...where did 2012 go? It was a year full of...well, stuff. There were a lot of downs but also a lot of ups. The year started out like any other. Full of resolutions and dreams for what the year held. Unfortunately with the melanoma diagnoses, everything came to a stop. It was a rough summer but we got thru. A new house was waiting for us on the other side of my surgery so we had something grand to look forward to. We love our new location and the girls are in heaven by all the open space. We've christened it with a sleep over, plenty of brush pile fires, and a big trampoline in the yard. We are truly blessed. This past Christmas was one to remember in our brand new house.

Even though with the sparkle of a brand new house, it took a race to get me back up on my feet. I was in depression after surgery and didn't know how to pull myself out. It was the words a friend spoke that got me up and moving. She asked me if I wanted to run a 5K. My initial thought was, "Heck, no" but something inside me made me sign on the line to commit. After weeks of training and encouragement from my friends I finally did it. November 18 was a day that I'll never forget. My family was there to cheer me on and I did it...I couldn't rely on anyone to get me thru other than God. Like 1 Corinthians 9:24 says, I ran in a way to get the prize and that I did. At the end of the race was a big cup of hot chocolate. Unfortunately, it was crappy but I finally got there. The rest of the year was filled with the excitement of Christmas.

Now that 2013 is here, I've done a lot of reflection and I'm so ready for a new beginning. My aunt got me a daily calendar that has a scripture every day listed from the book of Psalms. The one on January 2 keeps coming back to me so I did some digging and found a version that I can relate to. In the NIV version of Psalms 25:21 is says "Let integrity and uprightness preserve me; for I wait on thee." I love those words - integrity and uprightness. When I looked at the Message translation it resonated within my soul and I knew that it was the Holy Spirit stirring things within me. It says, "Use all your skill to put me together; I wait to see your finished product." After last year, I feel, and at times still feel broken. Like I'm a puzzle that still needs put together. It's my prayer that God would use all of skills to put me together this year because I know at the end, there's a glorious picture that awaits me. Ever see a picture in passing that just catches your eye? You can't think of anything but the details in that picture? I want to do that with the pieces that he's putting together. I want to be so in awe of what is looking back at me. Here's to a great 2013!

Time out

I've taken a little time out the past couple weeks. I've feel like I've been beat up, hit, and run over but I'm still up. We've been looking for a house and that's taken some time out of our schedule but what's taken most of my thoughts these past couple weeks are on something that's a little more private. I'm not one that share's every nook and cranny of my life but I feel like I have to let everyone in on something that's been consuming my thoughts. I went to the dermatologist last week on Monday and they discovered that I have skin cancer. It's a rather large melanoma but they feel for right now that they've caught it early. I've got an appointment with my oncologist in April with surgery to follow. It's one of those things that hit you right in the gut. Cancer is cancer and I really don't care if it's skin cancer or any other type of cancer. It's scary! My doctor feels that this is doable but she did say that it will probably come back again, maybe even sooner rather than later. Last weekend, as we were waiting for results, I didn't want to think about anything that had to do with the future - anything from the next week to the next few years. Everything seemed so hung up in the air. When the doctor finally called and said that it was skin cancer, I felt almost relived. The waiting is really the worst part. I guess the thing that I hate the most is that I've told only a small group of people and I hate when people tell me that it's no big deal and that they've had it done and it's a piece of cake. Having surgery in a hospital...having surgery at a cancer hospital...is a big deal. It is a big deal to me and as much as I know that it probably won't be a big deal, for right now and right here, it is. It's huge. It effects me, my husband, my parents, and my kids. I am so glad that I've had Nate and my mom with me these past few weeks. Nate has been there with me two times a day as he changes my dressing on my leg. My mom has been there reading things and telling me how good my doctor is. My kids have been there praying for me and asking if they can help me as I stumble up and down the steps. I have an amazing support system but one thing that this whole thing is not is a piece of cake. My poor husband is so scared to death about things. At the end of church last weekend he asked if I wanted to go pray at the front of the church. At first I thought that he wanted to pray for his family (long story). But when we got up there, he starts crying and praying for me and that God would heal me. This whole ordeal has defiantly brought us closer and I've realized more than ever that I need him. I'm not a needy person and I'm rather independent. For me to need his help is a true eye opener. I can't do this without him and I'm so glad that he's been there with me very step of the way. For right now though, if you're reading this just think about something. If someone is going thru something please don't tell them that it's no big deal and that it's a piece of cake. Even though it may have been for you, it's not to them, at least not right now. Be there to listen, to understand, and just to hurt for the other person. Be there to pray, to lean on, and just to love on that person. Be Jesus to them. I can use any and all prayers if you're willing to lift them up for me. If you need me to pray for you, I can do that. I have a line of communication going with with the big guy these days so feel free to share with me and I'll be praying for you too. I'll keep you updated so stay tuned for any updates. Love you all :)

Here I am!

Been busy with life...and well, valentines stuff :) It's been a whirlwind of a couple weeks. Every time I sit and want to blog, something comes up and I have to keep swimming (moving). I really shouldn't be blogging right now but I have a few minutes of uninterrupted time and I thought I'd go for it! Want to see what I've been up to? Take a look:


Doing all the Valentine "cooking" wasn't the best on my Weight Watcher diet but it was great fun and the girls had a blast. I got confirmation yesterday when Aiva said that my treat was the best in the class. If my kid likes it, you know it's gotta be good! Things are hopefully going to settle down in the next couple weeks. Swimming and basketball will be over and then we can finally breath a sign of relief before spring and summer roll around.

We've been looking at some houses and needless to say, I thought that the second house we looked at was going to be the one. It wasn't! It was terrible on the inside and very small. Not big enough to raise 2 high school daughters in! Thinking ahead here folks! We'll keep looking...we've seen three so far. I think we may even try to go the route of building too so we're going to explore that maybe this week or next.

Still trying to get into my "skinnies". I wear them every week but it's slow going. Weekends are hard...I think just about everyone can relate. You work so hard on the weekdays to have it all go down hill on the weekend. Making good choices on the weekends is difficult but doable. I just have to keep making better choices and heading in the right direction. My Fab Ab February is going well but just a tad behind.

OK...have to wrap it up but here's to spring! With this weather, it's hard to believe that it's winter!

Christmas Projects

OK...so do you want to know what's taking all my time from being able to post these last few weeks? I'm about to show you (over the course of a few days) what I've been working on. I thought that the log would be the best place to show it before Christmas that way it won't give away any secrets. I don't think anyone in my family knows about the blog so all is well! The first project is one that I've been working on the least amount of time but it's one of my favorites. I'm giving this to my mother in law. I've had the letters for about two years now and could never settle on what I wanted to do with them. After some ideas from Pinterest I finally solved my problem. Take a look!

Hello

It's been three long months since I've blogged. It was a well deserved hiatus. Much has changed but much is still the same. The summer was long but good. We spend many days at the pool and the zoo and just thinking about summer makes me wish it were still here. As I sit and type, both girls are in bed and fast asleep, not much to their liking. The house is quiet and there was nothing better to do than to write. I left everything from my to-do list at work so here I sit. For the past few days I've thought about writing my thoughts down but something always came up that required attention. It's nice to have a few quiet moments to myself. Doesn't happen much and it almost seems foreign. One day that will change though and I'm trying to soak up these "interruptions" and think of them as blessings. Aiva is turning into quite the young lady although she tries to act older than her 7 years. It must be that 8 is lurking close and she's about to turn another year ....wiser is what I'd like to say but "challenging" is what comes to mind. She's definitely more of a challenge than Ana but day by day we make it through. She has such a powerful personality that it's been difficult for her and Nate to communicate. They end up arguing and it's not pretty. I've been the peacemaker and try to mediate between them both but more times then none, they both end up crossing their arms and parting ways, frustrated. I pray that she learns how to use her personality for the good and realize the damage that it could do if she uses it the wrong way. She's the sweetest thing if you know how to talk to her and build her up. I've researched this and it's taken me awhile but I think I know some key phrases that don't cause friction and we seem to have done better.

Ana my playful child is always hard at play with her friend Riley. They're always side by side although not for long. Riley is about to start kindergarten while Ana is still in preschool. Fun as it seems, Ana looks like she should be the one in second grade. She's about ready to pass up her sister in height. She definitely takes after her daddy. The trait she's taken on is that of whining. Not the best one, but we're dealing with it. She's been whining since the day she was born and she continues to do so. One of these days she will tell us what she wants or what is wrong without whining. When that happens we all will celebrate! She does still have an infectious smile and I can't help to not smile when she's in the room.

We're looking forward to a new year and new things. So much is in store for us and I can't wait to see how things unfolds. Since I'm "back" get used to seeing me on here. I do miss seeing and hearing my updates. I look back at my blogs from time to time and it helps to see how I've grown or what we've experienced. Not just me, but it's amazing to see how the girls have grown and how they've changed. Kids grow so quick and I'm sure soon I'll look back on this and think "where did the time go". Until then, I'm enjoying each moment...hope you can enjoy it with me!

Waiting

I couldn't take the waiting anymore. The alarm is supposed to go off in 30 minutes and it took everything I had to stay in bed this long. Today is the day that Aiva is supposed to have her tonsils out. This has been a love hate day from the time we sheduled it. I know that I'm more worked up about this than she is. She has no clue what's in store and I know that's a good thing. I just remember back to when I had mine out when I was 18 and it was awful. I think the thing that I'm so afraid of is seeing the pain in her eyes as she looks at me 5 hours from now. I can barely stand to think of it. I'm sitting here balling and I'm hoping that once I get all this out I'll feel more at peace. I've heard stories from other kids who have had theirs out but it doesn't help the ache in my heart. This is my baby...I have to remember that God loves Aiva so much more than I do. Even though I can't wrap my brain around that one, I know it's true. I just pray that the moment we walk into that recovery room...the moment that we round the corner...the moment that we pull the curtain back...Aiva will not have that look in her eyes. That look that says, "Mom, you knew how it was going to be...you knew that it was going to hurt...you knew that there was going to be blood...but you still put me through this." Call me what you will...dramatic, over-reacting, ye of little faith, whatever...you don't know unless you've gone thru it. Guess I have a little glimps of what God felt like as he awaited the time for Jesus to be crucified. He saw that pain in Jesus' eyes and I'm sure it was hard to bear...the pain that said, "Dad, you knew how it was going to be...you knew that it was going to hurt...you knew that there was going to be blood...but you still put me through this." You probably knows what comes next...that's how much he loved him. That's how much He loves Aiva.

Timeout

So it's been an exhausting day. I'm surprised I haven't already gone to bed. I needed to get the good ole' work out in and I couldn't get something off my mind so I thought I'd blog a little before I hit the hay. My car has been out of commission (and transmission) for the last three weeks. We've been down to one car and it hasn't been fun. I'll save you the details but we we were waiting for our tax refund check to pay for the work. We finally got the check and as soon as I received it I called the mechanic to give him the green light to fix the car. He called me yesterday and told me that the car would be done today and we could pick it up in the afternoon. The bad news came around 11AM today. I knew the news was going to be bad as soon as I realized he left a message without my phone ringing and then I couldn't get to my voicemail. I should have stopped and prayed then but I proceeded on. I finally got the message and he explained to me (long story short) that we have blew up the engine and instead of the $1000 that we were thinking we would have to pay it was going to be $4000-$5000. My heart sank. That was practically the rest of our refund check that was left over. What were we going to do? I couldn't even wrap my head around the thought of not going on our anniversary vacation in November. What about the money we were going to build back up our savings? Gone...that was the only thing that kept coming to mind...Gone. The only thing that Nate said was that he was glad we had the money to pay for the repair. What? What about the other stuff. I couldn't get past it. I made numerous calls, talked to all kinds of people, I was in a rut all day. It was awful. I talked to my parents and they advised me but the news was bad no matter how you looked at it. It was 4PM when a friend walked in my office and asked why I wasn't running it thru insurance. HELLO...wake up call! Why weren't we again? It originally started out that we didn't want Nate to have this on his record so we were just going to pay the $1000 out of pocket since the accident was his fault. It didn't even cross my mind to put it thru insurance with the price going so high. I called my insurance guy (who is amazing) and he told me we can certainly do this plus he told me that our deductible had decreased. Not only are we not going to have to loose all of our tax refund check but we only have to pay our $500 for the work. What a relief. What did I learn? I still have a problem with worry and trust. I feel like I can do things on my own and when I learn that things aren't going my way I worry about what's going to happen. This little interruption rocked my world today and it shouldn't have. It says in Matthew DO NOT worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of it's own. Today I had trouble alright but I also have a great big God. He knows what my tomorrow is going to bring. He knows my desires, my needs, my shortcomings, everything. Pride is something else that got in the way. I didn't want to tell anyone at work about my bad news and it took my friend overhearing a conversation to figure out I was in trouble. If I would have gone to her sooner I might not have gone thru the valley for that short time. This was certainly a test and I didn't do so well. Hopefully next time I have an interruption I'll take time. That's just it...take time. Be quiet. It's so not in my nature to take time but that's where I get caught up. Lesson learned for today...take a timeout.

Exercise

OK it's taking every ounce of me to type out this post but I'm doing it. Hopefully it will be a good swift kick in the butt :) Truthfully, exercise is something that I hate...we have a love/hate relationship. I hate doing it, but I love what it produces - hopefully one of these days. For the past month I've been trying to kick it in gear and it's been going well but I have a confession. I hate sweat. I think this is the partial reason why I hate this "activity" so much. Hate smelling it and hate feeling it on me. As Nate would say, hate is a very strong word. He's right in this instance...I HATE exercising & sweat. Now, I don't want to sound completely negative so I'm switching gears here. I am having a lot of fun using the Wii more and it has created an opportunity to hang out with the kids & Nate more and have fun with them as we dance on Just Dance. We've got Just Dance for Kids and Just Dance 2 and we're on them all the time. As I type, Aiva's actually dancing to Who Let the Dogs and it's taking every ounce of me not to join her. Something else I'm excited about is today I will be receiving a morsel in the mail that I'm going to savor. I ordered a DVD on Netflix that I see me keeping for a bit longer than the usual DVD. It's the Biggest Loser Power Workout. I love Bob from Biggest Loser so I know I'm gonna love this DVD. Can't wait to check the mailbox today to grab it and start working out. So as you can see, my attitude is changing and it's (I'm) a work in progress. There's talk of going to the beach this summer with Nate's family so it's my goal to go and feel good about myself. I'm not setting a number goal because I don't want to disappointment myself so I'm sticking with feeling good so there's no disappointments! Who's with me? One, two, three...let's go!

MOPS

Tonight was the first night of MOPS at our church for the year. It was a great night :) Last year I wasn't able to make it as much just because it was such a busy time but this year I'm going to make more of a priority to be there. I think I need to for my sanity. Between work, getting the house together, homework, etc I need to take some time out for me. Even though it's right after work it's still nice to have time with other moms who know what you're going through! Here's to a good year and a good group! Yeah!

I am so excited for this week to be over. I've been feeling pretty awful and my voice doesn't last for long so working has been a little bit of a challenge. I manage but I sure am tired at the end of the day. Looking forward to the weekend. It can't be much better :) Big game and my brother in laws are coming in town! We don't get to see Matt & Steve very much so we're looking to seeing the twins. Here's to a great weekend!

Debt

I just read an amazing article on debt by one of my favorite fellow bloggers. You have got to take a look at this. Click here to get to it. She talks about taking extreme measures to stay out of debt. her family did it while her husband was in law school and they lived on around $12,000 for the year. She gives 28 ways that helped them stay out of debt and get by. Very inspiring! Hope it touches you as much as it touched me. Thanks Money Saving Mom for sharing!

Hiatus

So it's been awhile! Sorry for my almost two month hiatus...it's been a whirl wind of a few months but I think I can finally say that I'm back! Yeah! I sure missed blogging but it was somewhat refreshing and somewhat eye opening at the same time. Makes me almost feel like God does with us when we don't talk to Him! Things have been great and are just beginning to start back up again.



I've been picking up the slack in the office for a couple of gals being on maternity leave so it's been a little hairy at work but I've survived! They're both coming back next week and the week after so I'll be back to normal in the next few days. Makes me appreciate them all the more ;). My small group just got done with the book "Crazy Love" and it made me want to change my thinking on a few things.

I've always thought of God as being more reverent and holy but I want to try to think of Him more as Abba, Father, Daddy. A little different for me to wrap my head around but I want that personal side to my relationship with Him. It's a great book so if you haven't read it, pick it up and give it a go. We're starting a study of the book of James so I'm really excited about jumping into that next. I've also been trying to plan out activities for the kids and Nate to do during the week for the summer. I'm so jealous that I won't be able to join them! There's a lot of fun stuff planned from the summer movie series at Cinemark to free bowling to gymnastics camp! It's gonna be a good one! I've also been trying to work on a few projects that are getting up off the ground rather slowly but I'll kick it in gear soon. I've also been keeping up with menu planning and coupon saving so that's been exciting! Along with all that, I've been planning Nate's and my trip to Chicago in November for our 10th anniversary. I can't wait for a vacation! We're not really going away this summer (other than camping) so this will be our vacation for the year. It's gonna be great!

Nate has been doing well. Still adjusting to being a stay at home dad! By the time he gets adjusted, both girls will both be in school. I think he's looking forward to the summer and being more active instead of being cooped up in this little house! He's started tournament fishing which he loves so that's been great for him to get out with other men. He seems to be doing pretty good too! He would love to get a boat one of these days so I told him to start saving pennies and one day we'll get there! He's looking forward to camping, fishing, and heading to Nashville this summer.

Aiva is doing great in school. She loves math and spelling and she's just plain a smarty pants! She is so helpful with Ana but on the other hands they love to fight like cats and dogs. She has a new friend next door and her name is Sunrise. She wants to do everything with this girl! Sunrise doesn't come from the best home environment so we're trying to be good examples while hopefully not scaring our own kids! Aiva's looking forward to gymnastics camp, Round Lake camp, and soccer for this summer. She's still trying to find her niche with what she wants to do so we're still exploring our options. She's very smart and crafty but I'm not sure she's real athletic! We're still working with her though!

Ana is just plain ornery! Nate and I crack up all the time at how witty she is. She always has a smile and a joke that she readily hands out! She loves preschool and will tell you if you ask who the trouble maker is in school. She loves Ms. Mindy and can't wait for her spring show where she gets to sing a few songs that they've learned in class. She's in gymnastics at church and LOVES it. She's the oldest of the class but that doesn't bother her...she knows what she's doing and is adamant that she wants to do things on her own while in class! She will be in the 4's/5's class in preschool next year and we're hoping that Ms. Mindy will be in her class but we'll have to see! She can't wait to be in class for 3 days instead of 2 days! She loves writing her name and will watch Mulan (the Disney movie) all day if you let her.

I think that should catch you up on a few things until next time! I'll enjoy getting back into blogging again so stay tuned for what's on the horizon with me. I've enjoyed staying up with all my pals blogs so thanks to you all for keeping up while I took a break! Hope you're looking forward to summer! See you around!

Aiva

This week I'm going to be posting some video's that Aiva took this weekend. She absolutely loves to be in front of a camera. She loves to sing and perform. She just told me that she wants to be a makeup song artist when she grows up!! Sounds like something I might have come up with when I was her age. I could twirl and sing for hours and so can she! For Christmas we gave Aiva her own MP3 with headphones and she could listen to it all day if we let her. She cracks me up...I really love that girl! This is a picture of her and her uncle Steve, along with Mr. Mouse from "If you Give a Mouse a Cookie". This Friday she received the book in a bag, which she's supposed to take a picture of her and Mr. Mouse along with an activity that they did that night/weekend. Hers was going out to pizza with Uncle Steve. She had a blast and is still talking about Uncle Steve coming to see her.

Can't wait to share with you some of Aiva's latest singles!

2010

OK, so I skipped over most of December. So sorry about that. After being sick in December it was hard to get back into the swing of things but we did continue to celebrate the 25 Days of Christmas only on a lower level. We had an amazing Christmas and many memories that I will store away forever. We had Christmas over at my parents house with my brother's family and mom and dad. We had an amazing time. I was so glad we did it on a Saturday so it didn't feel so rushed and we could really enjoy being together.

Next came our family Christmas at home and it was so much fun. The girls played with their new toys, we made gingerbread men and watched movies and sang songs. It was a great day. I will never forget Aiva's face when she ran up to our room on Christmas morning to tell us that Santa had been there. She had come up those stairs quicker than I've ever seen her come up the stairs before. She was bumbed she didn't get the Barbie car she asked for but if she didn't change her mind on the 20th of December to include the Barbie car she may have had a good chance to get one. Next year she knows to turn in her requests early and keep to them! Ana too...she wanted a Dora kitchen and it never showed up from Santa. The vowed to write their letters next year and saw the repercussions from not doing it in 2009!!

After we had our family Christmas, the next day we drove to Nashville to be with his family for a week. It started out by going to the Rockettes which Aiva and I had a great time. It was a little rushed b/c as soon as we got into town we went to the theatre to see them perform. After the Rockettes we went to the Hiding Place which is a massive cabin that my mother in law gets through work and we don't have to pay for it. There are rooms for everyone that include our own bed and bathrooms. We LOVE the Hiding Place. There are 12 total rooms and we used all of them except 2 this year. I'm sure next year, all 12 will be used! We were there from Saturday until Wednesday night. It was so nice to wake up late and just be lazy and let all 7 kids run through the house. The loved playing ping pong in the basement or heading up to the third floor conference room, which for our time there became the "Girls Club". There are 6 girls and 1 boy! Thursday, the mom's and Danelle went to a movie (Up in the Air) and ran to get stuff for New Years Eve. We had the best spread of food and I think my head is still spinning from cutting up all that fruit for fondue. It was a lot of fun though...after many hands of poker (for the others...not me) it was time to ring in the new year. We saw the guy drive over the water to a barge and then watched the ball drop and then I called it a night. After that for the next couple days, all we saw or heard was football! With 5 guys (6 including Saylor) the girls were outvoted for what to watch on TV. Thank God there was another TV...Jes and I watched many movies, all of which the girl never ended up with the guy, but oh well. On Saturday it was time to head to the mall so we went to Oprey Mills...with all the kids. It was a little crazy at first but once I changed my attitude it was a great time. The kids rode the carousel and we shopped and ate. 2 pairs of crocks and 6 suckers later it was time to head home. I'm not sure what we did that night but I'm sure it had something to do with Poker! Sunday was the day we headed home which was a good and a bad day. We did have so much fun hanging out with family and not having to work but it was nice to get back to my bed and the quietness of two children...if that's any quieter than 7!

So sorry to anyone who is still reading this! I love to record my thoughts and activities because it helps me remember! So with 2010 at our door, here it goes: Happy New Year...better late than never!