Preschool

Yesterday was the first day of preschool for Ana. She LOVED it. She went last year but this is 3 days a week and she felt like she was big stuff. This year she got to carry a backpack and had to get supplies like big sister Aiva. Unfortunately I was home sick yesterday but it was good timing as I got to see her off for her first day. If I weren't feeling so bad I would have gone with them but instead stayed back and heard the news once Nate got back home. After he came home it felt odd having both kids in school. I guess that's what it feels like to have a quiet house. Last time it was quiet was back in January when both girls stayed at my parents house for our birthdays. She ended up loving it and was zonked once she got home. I let her sleep about an hour before it was time for dinner. Today she did the same thing. She normally takes an afternoon nap but not anymore!

Aiva's been doing great with school. She's really trying to get an "orange" for the day to mean that she did AWESOME but she continues to get green meaning that she's just plain GOOD. I told her that we need to bake the teacher some cookies or brownies to get some "brownie points" (no pun intended) to get her an orange! She always wants to dress up for school which makes walking to school somewhat of a challenge. I had to go out to get different shoes and socks so her feet won't hurt on the way there and throughout the day. I think the highlight today was her buying her lunch and trading her breadstick for salad with one of her friends. At least she's making wise eating choices! She only gets to buy one time a week so this is really fun for her.

Today was my first day back to school after the long weekend. It was rough trying to get caught back up but I'll be back at it again tomorrow. I'm starting to feel better so that's good! Little Ana kept asking me if I were feeling better. I think she half cared and half really wanted to do something fun this weekend. She was a trooper while I was sick in bed...both girls were.

We've been starting to think about birthdays in October. It will be here before you know it. Not sure of all the details but Aiva is getting her ears pierced at some point. Nate's not to keen on the idea but it will grow on him. Once he sees how cute she looks he'll be OK. I can't wait! I know we're doing an iCarly cake and a Dora cake but that's all we've talked about. It's hard not to do it up big but we have to keep it small since Nate and I are going to Chicago in November. Can't wait...that's a whole different post! More tomorrow :)

Ducks

This morning on my way to work, I saw this line of ducks walking on the side walk. It was so cute that I wished I could have pulled over to get a picture of it. Had there not been a car right behind me I would have. It looked a little something like this...It really looked like they were on their way to school. There were 5 of them in a row and it just made you want to stop and just watch them. Thanks God for giving us moments to laugh!

AoG18

Thursday was a pretty good day...hope you're Thursday was a good one too!

1) My presentation at church went pretty well. I get to talk further at the next staff meeting. Hope it's taken with as much enthusiasm.
2) For lunch I went to the rec center and walked for an hour. It was good to get away and clear my brain...good prayer time as well.
3) After work, I went back to the rec center to wait on Nate and the girls to get there. We were going to work out together. I waited a half hour on Nate but it was so nice to just sit. Sometimes you forget what it feels like to just SIT and do nothing.
4) We left the phone and computer off last night. We just wanted to have a quiet night minus any ringing phones or temptations to check email.
5) Survivor! Actually I haven't gotten into it this time around. Just to watch something that Nate wanted to watch made me happy. I just got to relax and just be.

Bring on Friday : )

Happiness

Today a kid (man) came in to church that Nate and I had in youth group and I jumped up and had to give him a big hug. I found out on facebook the other day that he's engaged. I was so happy for him that I was bursting at the seams! He's in the military and went away to Iraq last year and is just a super kid. Nate and I had such a great experience helping out in the youth group and we're so proud of the kids that were in school at the time. One of them we had in our wedding and he is now married and happy and now here's another one that is successful and doing great. I'm just so happy that we had a hand in their success not only in life but also spiritually. I am so proud of these student that they have grown to be great men and women of God. I pray that God blesses their marriage and that they're truly happy! Congrats BJ & Emily!

Dread

Tomorrow is finally D day. The day that I'm officially on the phones. I finished my last day of training yesterday and I'm absolutely dreading stepping into my actual new job. If I could turn the other way and run I probably would. Two Fridays ago I found out that 5 of my teammates and I are moving to another team. They knew at the beginning that five of us would have to leave yet they decided to hold off in telling us. This last week has been long and hard b/c I knew that this day would come that I would have to face the next day with another team. I just want this job to be over. I submitted resumes to quite a few churches so I'm hoping that one of the churches takes an interest in me. Two have actually responded so I'm praying for good things. I know that we are here for something but I'm still waiting for the plan to be unfolded. The good thing about moving here is that I've actually gotten closer to Adriene the gal that WCC hired to replace me. We are so much alike that it's unreal. We sit and gab on the phone like we're been friends forever. I really with that we have become friends sooner. I know that we would have been the best of friends Nate asked me yesterday why I always pick friends that are out of state. It's not like I plan it that way but it just happens. I really wish she were here so we could hang out more. The homesickness is getting better but I'm sure it will creep back up once the holidays arrive. Today Nate and I went shopping for the girls birthday party's. I never knew how difficult that this was going to be. Well see how things unfold. I can already sense a feeling of doubt in having to do this every year. What are we going to do!?! Things with Nate and I seems to be a little strained too. I think it's the whole thing of living with his parents and doing the stay home/working parent thing. I'm hoping that this get better once we do it more often. SO for those of you who might be reading my blog please pray for this church job. I really need this to come through. I really want to be happy and I know that this job at Dell is not it. I'm going to try to stay positive and see what happens but I knwo that I don't want to do this full time for the remaining days that I have. Help. I need your prayers!

Undecided

Well, I've entered into my fourth week of training. Today was the first day for me to be in training half the day and on the phones the other half of the day. I'm still undecided about what I want to do. I keep on telling myself that this is going to be good for my family and for our future but I'm really starting to feel like I don't want to do this and that I would be much happier at WCC. I truly miss my job and I would give anything to go back. I just do feel connected to Dell and I would do anything to go back. I should have seen this coming but I'm really starting to regret the move. I'm going home this weekend and I can hardly wait. I think I might feel better about the job if I were able to go home at Christmas. I really miss my parents and I don't know what I'm going to do if I can't go home for the holidays. I try to be positive for Nate but I really don't like this and I want to go home. He just keeps telling me to stick it out and I want to do everything but that. Every day I pray that God would give me peace and patience as I'm trying to transition to a new job but I'm feeling so overwhelmed. I just want things to feel normal and I don't want to feel like this for months on end. I want things to feel familiar and I really just want to go home. I miss my mom and everything that's right. I'm afraid that the time that I spend in Ohio this weekend will go by so fast and I won't even have a chance to absorb the feeling. This is the first time that I really have thought about my home sickness. I try to put it behind me and not to think about it. I want to give up and go back. I pray that God gives me what I need to get through this week. I hate that I have to count down to the weekend. I don't want my life to be like that...one big count down. That's how I'll miss out on the girls lives. Hopefully the next time that I write I will feel tons better and I'll have a different approach on things. I must be able to feel the Spirit with me or else I'm not going to get through it. Lord help me. Help me to feel you interwoven through out my spirit and go ahead of me and prepare the way.

Rest

Well, I finally finished my second week of training and I'm so happy that it's over. At lunch yesterday I was thinking about looking for another job but by the time I left I was feeling a little more confident about the whole Dell thing. I was able to sell one real computer and two fake computers yesterday. We had two secret shopper calls and I was able to sell a computer to both and then I had to sit with a mentor before leaving yesterday and I sold a computer to that person as well. All in all it wasn't that bad and I'm starting to feel a little more confident that I'm going to be OK. As long as I see that I'm advancing a little quicker than the others I think I'll be OK. I just don't want to be clueless and make a fool out of myself. After the week that I had I felt that rest was finally due me. We were supposed to go to the TN fair today but Nate was sick do we decided to hang at home. A great idea I feel. It was good to not have to do anything. After studying and molding into a sponge through the week it was good to not have to think of anything. I was able to chat with my parents a couple times today and we even gave the web cam a try with unfortunately no success. Hopefully tomorrow we can have some luck. I think I got us hooked up with Pal Talk so we're going to give it a whirl tomorrow. My dad sent some pics today that I had a ball looking at. Makes me miss home but I loved to take a mental road trip. Makes me long for September 22 weekend all the more. I think I'm going to be able to come home. My trainer said that we're going to be in training from 8-5 for the next few weeks but I'm praying that it's still going to be Monday through Friday for at least a few weeks too. We'll see. I keep praying! Well, I have to cut outta here I want to cozy on up in bed with a magazine and just veg out before I have to wake up to the kids wailing and getting into things that they shouldn't! Here;s to a great rest of the weekend and an even better week. Au revoir!

Home

Well I've finally completed week one. I'm not sure how much I'm going to like my new job but I'm going to do it with all that I have. So far it hasn't been the toughest. I guess I'm most concerned about the selling part of the job. I hope that the case with computer's is the same with the case for jewelry...it sells itself! Tomorrow I'm going to start my second week. I'm also going to have a mid-term this week so we'll see how well I do. I'm a little nervous but I'm glad that it's multiple choice! This was a three day weekend so I had an extra day to re-group and get ready for the work week. I'm trying not to think about the week that lies ahead. What I am thinking about is the tickets that my mother in law got me. She got me tickets to the Point of Grace concert on Sunday. I'm going to try to focus on that this week. I'm really missing home tonight. I miss my mom and her smile. I wish she were sitting here beside me so we can have one of chick-chats. I miss my dad and his laugh. I would probably listen to one of his talks about XF Electric if it would take me back home. I looked at a picture of our old house on Saturday and it brought tears to my eyes. I'm really hoping that Aiva hasn't forgotten about her Mamaw and Papaw. I miss her always talking about them. I miss the comfort of my parents home...it's always so welcoming. I guess that's something that I'm going to look forward to in the upcoming weeks. I really hope that I have the weekend off so we can go to Jared's wedding. Not so much for the wedding but so I can see my mom and dad. Mom and dad if your reading this know that I miss you so much. I'm sorry that we had to take this extreme measure to improve our life. I'm not sure if I would do it again but I'm hoping that God uses this to better our family, our finances and our faith. I can't tell you enough how much my heart aches to not have the time with you today...when families are gathering and cooking-out and spending time together. I wish so much for that time to come soon. I love you both and can't wait to see you. Wish me luck this week!

Finally

We are finally here. We got in late last night. Today we went to church and we've been unpacking ever since. I think we finally got things the way we want them. We have a few more things to get and organize but I think we set. I start work tomorrow and it hasn't yet set in. I feel like I should be doing something to get prepared beside setting up "house". I'm a little apprehensive about tomorrow though. You know the stupid things. Am I going to befriend someone...am I going to have someone to sit with at lunch. I feel like I'm back in middle school...anyway. I have to end this for now. Someones trying to get on the phone which means I need to get off. More tomorrow...wish me luck everyone!

Moving

Today is the day that we're moving. The day I've dreaded for many. I've postponed it long enough and the day has come for us to finally make the move to Nashville. It's time to choose life. While reading a book by my favorite author I stumbled upon a verse that I want to claim for our move. It's found in Deuteronomy 30:11-20. It talks about choosing life over death. God says that what he's commanding us to do is not difficult. We don't have to ask how we have to do it we just have to choose. He's set it before us today and we just have to grasp it. If we choose life and we obey him, love him, and keep his commands then we will live and increase and the Lord will bless us in the land we are about to enter. It's my prayer that I wouldn't be scared any more or be nervous. I just pray that God would bless us as we are about to enter into the next stage of our life. I pray that I will meet a Friend at Dell. I'm so nervous about meeting new people while at the same time of learning something new. Make this an easy transition God. Prepare a friend for me God. I need you in this move to go forth and prepare what lies ahead. Let us lay everything at your feet and may you bless us as we embark on this journey.

Clean

Yes...my house is finally clean. Too bad we have to be moving for it to be this way. It really looks great! I'm not looking forward to moving though. I know it's what I have to do but I'm going to go kicking and screaming. I'm kidding...I won't be that dramatic! I have to do what I have to do , right!?! I just know that tomorrow and Thursday are going to be extremely hard and I'm not looking forward to them. Tomorrow I'm going in to church for the last time to drop off my phone and help Adriene out with a few things. When I pull away I know I'm going to lose it! My mom is doing better but it;s going to be awful to leave her. I don't even want to think about it. I can almost feel myself counting down the days to when I'm home again! I can't wait. I start work on Monday and it going to feel crazy. I'm already getting very nervous about having a real job. I just pray that I blow everyone out of the water with how good I do. I really want to do well not only for me but for my family. I want to make my parents ecstatic that I'm doing so well. I want to really do something big and I know that big things are on the horizon. I just can't wait for things to get big...well...maybe I can wait a little. More later...probably from Nashvegas!

Nashville

Well, we finally made it to Nashville...sort of. We flew here yesterday and we're leaving tomorrow morning. Wen we get home we've got to pack, party and part. I know that this will be a tough transition but I know that God has great things lined up for me and the family. I'm going to hate leaving my mom. I know that we will certainly keep in contact but it's always nice to be able to go over to mom's after a bad day. I'm dreading the goodbye already. I'm still focusing on getting things packed before I let myself think about things at Dell. I did have a meeting over there on Thursday and I'm confident that I'm going to do great there. It's just getting my heart to go along with it. I know that I'm going to do this for my girls and for Nate but I can't help but think off all the things I'm going to miss out on. I can't let my mind wonder there though b/c then I'll get depressed and and it will cause tension for Nate the horizon...I feel it! I have to cut out for now...it's already midnight in Columbus so I have to transition myself back to Ohio time and get some sleep. I probably will either write before shutting the computer down or when we get here. Wish us luck and Nashville..here we come!

HOT

Today is extremely hot...so hot that I don't want to even think about going to lunch therefore I'm not! Bad excuse I know but I'm wearing black pants today and I know I would just roast! We are getting close to moving! 10 packing days to go before our moving date. I can hardly believe it but I better get with it because it's going to be here quick. We flying out on Wednesday next week due to a meeting I have in Nashville on Thursday. We're flying back on Saturday morning and packing the rest of the stuff before heading back down south. Boy, the next few days are going to be CRAZY. I have to try not to think about Dell right now because that will get me stressed out and all nervous. I'm just thinking about the move right now and then I'll think about Dell. I kind of wish that we had a few weeks in between when we move and when I start to at least get a break. I feel like I'm going to be so worn out from moving that I'll be emotionally checked out when I start my job. I'm not quite sure I'm ready to jump in with both feet!! Ce la vie! That's it for now. I'll write more later. Hopefully things won't be so hot! :)

Nashville

Well, to make a long story short...we're headed to Nashville. Do I have peace about it...not entirely. I'm trying to stay positive but I know that this opportunity will be the best for us now and in the future. I just have to hope and pray that God hears my crys for the things that I need for my girls. It's going to be so hard to leave everything that we know and most of all my family. My mom isn't doing well with the decision. If she were more positive about it I know that I would feel better. I just hate that she's acting the way that she is. The heat doesn't make things any better. Our house isn't air conditioned so needless to say everyone is agitated, me being the most. With the heat and boxes everywhere I feel like I'm going to lose it at any minute. It also doesn't help that Aiva is on the verge of me classifying her as ADD. Sometimes she's way over the top and I'm about ready to look on-line for medication for her. Of course I'm kidding but she's driving me crazy. Maybe it's a good thing that I'll be working full time. I feel like she's getting hard to handle. I don't want to wish this precious little time away but I'm excited for her to be in school so she can get rid of some of this energy! SSOO, the next few weeks are going to be insane. We going to Nashville for a brief vacation (if that's what you want to call it!) and then we head back to make the final move. I just hope that we'll be able to have our insanity once this is all over. I just know that I'm going to be an emotional basket case. Lord help me now...God knows I need it! OK, enough complaining. I'll end this now but maybe the next time I write I'll either be in the midst of packing or just need a venting session...or maybe both. God help us all!!

Decisions

OK, I'm getting to the point where I'm getting mentally frazzled with what to do. Yesterday, I got a call from Dell and they offered me the job. Today when I called they told me that they wanted me to start on the 13 of August. That was a big shock. I had originally called to let them know that I needed a few days to think about things and then the guy that I was talking to said that they had another class on Aug. 27 and that they could get me signed up for that one. I told him that was fine but I still needed time to think about it. I guess I'm still praying for what to do. I feel like I'm supposed to stay here at WCC but at the same time I know that things would be great if I could get this job and get our debt paid off. I'm just asking for more clarity and that God would give us the answer b/c I don't want to make the decisions. Help!

Decided/Undecided

Well, I've finally hit the stage where I'm officially undecided about Nashville. I don't know why I was so settled on moving and now I'm not...try explaining that to Nate. right now he is so fed up with me that I can't believe it. I've finally come to the decision that I'm ready to stay at the church. I love my job and I want to stay here. There's something about feeling secure and loving your job that I don't want to move away from. I can't describe it. Call me crazy. I just hate that I have a tough time of making up my mind. I feel sorry for Nate with dealing with that. Sorry hun! So, the plan is to find Nate a job. I'm determined though to find something that he will love. I know it's out there...we just have to find it. I'm happy though that I'll be sticking around here. I finally feel at peace and I think that's the peace that only God can give me. The tough part is going to be telling his parents that we're not longer headed that way. I think it's really going to break their heart. Lord help them! We're scheduled to fly down there in about 3 weeks so we just might have to do it then. I am looking forward to another break...like a mini vacation! Until I'm ready to breath easy and relax a little. It's summer for Pete's sake!! Can't I enjoy it a little?!?

Relieved

Well it finally Saturday and I can say that my interview is finally over and all I have to do now is just wait. I was fully prepared and now it's in God's hands. I can't believe how great it went. I think I was almost too prepared because when it was over I felt like, "Wow...that's it?" I gave it my all and that was all I can do. Now the hard part comes...waiting. Nate is going to set up and interview in Columbus and then we'll wait after that to make a decision. At this point, I just can't wait to get back home. I think I'm getting home sick which that's not such a great thing. I had a great day of shopping and I think that made me feel tons better about the weekend...somewhat like the weekend was a success! I got some outfits for Aiva plus a few good books. I can't wait to sink my teeth into them! Well, I have to go. Ana is tearing up Dan's office and Aiva is going to wake up soon. Talk to you back home!

Tuesday

In getting prepared for if we move I thought it was a good idea to start brainstorming for someone to take my position at work. I don't want to leave them in a bind since they've been so good to me. I love my job and I really enjoy everyone who I work with. If things move forward I'm really going to hate leaving this place. OK, back to what I was talking about before. I was thinking about this gal who had originally applied for another job that we had here available awhile ago but didn't end up getting the job. I recently had the chance to meet her. When she came in for her interview I had the day off and didn't get to see who she was. I've seen her at church but never knew her name. So, after thinking about it one nigh at an absurd hour I thought I would shoot her an email to see what her job status was. My email was nothing earth moving or earth shattering but what I got back as a reply that nearly broke my heart. She's been in a position at a doctor's office where she's being verbally and emotionally abused. Why it broke my heart so much is because I was in her boat and it took working at the church to build my self esteem and my self worth to get me to overcome what I did at the office where I was. I have nothing but good vibes coming from this situation. I really hope that I'll be able to get this job at Dell and she can come in and take over my job where she'll be loved and treasured. Not only that but that she can heal. I feel like that's what I've been able to do while working here. I'm so thankful that God has mended my heart and I can say that I'm a better person for what I went through. I pray the same for her. We're going to grab some lunch next week and chat. Hopefully, not only can God get her out of the situation that she's in but I can gain a new friend. Here's to next week!

HOT

Too bad I just can't take my computer outside and type this. I'm in our kitchen and it's blistering hot. I've been on the web for about 15 minutes and I'm ready to type this and put my head in the freezer to cool down. This week I have my interview with Dell and needless to day I'm extremely nervous. I've been going to bed every night putting together sales pitches and trying to come up with something that's going to wow the people who I'm interviewing with. Nate said something today that just about knocked me off my rocker. He said, "Just give it to God." My thought was, "Easier said than done." After going to church though and hearing Tommy Oaks preach, who I totally love hearing, Nate's advice seems a little easier to handle. I know that I can give this over to God and that he will be there to guide me and give me words when I'm at a loss for them. I stress the later. I think I'm having such a hard time about this because I know that this is it. This is my chance to break through. But at the same time I'm thinking of not being there when my girls grow up and that breaks my heart. That's when I get chocked up. Makes me realize how many days I would have done things differently with them and enjoyed them a little more. Makes me promise myself that the days to come are going to be different because if I get this job our life is going to be a lot different. Life isn't easy and it's time to leave a job that's "safe" for me and move to one of uncertainty and new things. I'm ready to take the plunge but I'm going to need God's help in doing so. I pray he'll be my feet when I can't walk in the door and my hands when I shake the one extended out to me, the smile to a new face, and the words to ears who might be judging me. God lift me up in this time and carry me because I know I can't do it without you.

Relief

Yes, that's exactly how I feel. I finally got a call back from Dell. The gal I talked to was very personable and it made me all the more excited about working there. She talked to me about what to expect during my interview (which is 4-5 hours) and was so kind to tell me that at the end of a very long day I'd have to give a sales pitch. If you know anything about me you know that this is something you will close to never hear come out of my mouth. Even though I've had my own company (yes...I totally forgot about jewelry) I'm not the most confident person when it comes to selling. I guess that's one of the things that I'm hoping to become if I get this job. I'm very excited about learning and becoming someone who I never thought could be. Who knows...maybe we'll end up in Nashville after all. Don't worry mom and dad...I'll be back often to visit. I better not talk so prematurely. I better keep praying that this might work out...and for God to give me some words during my sales pitch. I know He knows I'll need it! That's it for now. More to come later! I'm just so excited!!