Monday, August 24, 2009

Kindergarten

Today was the day...the first day of Kindergarten. Unlike the feeling I remember from when it was my first day, I was strangely surprised with how at peace I felt. We woke up early as we were planning a special breakfast for the big day. I got the girls beds made and rooms cleaned and started getting ready myself. Aiva ran up the stairs as Nate was getting up to make his famous pancakes. I told her that daddy was heading downstairs to make special pancakes and she said, "Mom, you know how you make your special muffins on Saturdays? Do you think you could make those today?" I wasn't planning on this particular task for my morning but since it was a special day I ran downstairs and whipped up a batch of blueberry and strawberry muffins. After, I got out of the shower and proceeded to get ready, Aiva asked if she could jump on our bed. She knows she's not supposed to jump on our bed except on rare occurrences, and I guess today was one of those days. If it would make the butterflies a little better I'd let her jump all day! Once Nate was done with his pancakes and my muffins were done, we had a rushed breakfast and then headed to the bus stop. We of course got tons of pictures and it was certainly turning out to be a memorable day. The bus rounded the corner and for just a moment my heart stopped. It was finely here...that next step. And then it happened...the flood gates opened and I thought for just a moment that there was absolutely no way that I was going to turn around and face the crowd behind me to take Aiva's picture. Nate basically told me to get it together and I jumped into action! Aiva had to get to the front of the line because she was of course a kindergartner and she was, for just this one year, able to ditch! I rushed her to the front, all while crying and trying to snap pictures, and then it was done. The doors closed and there were about a zillion eyes all looking out the windows to their mom and dad. I noticed one set right off the bat...the eyes of my little 5 year old who didn't know if she should be scared to death or ready to have a party! I gave her a confident smile and the bus started pulling away. We snapped into action (kind of!) and got in the car to make sure that she would get off the bus with no problems. When we got to the school, the kids had not yet gotten off the bus so I thought we were in good shape. As the students poured out of the bus, I noticed that my little Aiva was no where in sight. I looked at the front of the school, thinking that maybe I missed her, and then I saw her. My little brown haired 5 year old was bringing up the back of the crowd from her bus. She hadn't caught sight of me yet and the look that I saw on her face made me want to sneak back in the car to watch from afar. She looked absolutely confident like she could take on the whole school with just the smile on her face. It was exactly what I've been praying for! In that second, she caught a glimpse of me out of the corner of her eye and when she looked at me she gave me the biggest smile that I'd ever seen from her. In that second I realized that even though she was very confident walking into the school, she was just a little bit nervous and would like her mama to walk the rest of the way with her. I took her hand in mine and we walked the rest of the way until we met up with her teacher. Her teacher welcomed her and all was well...Mission accomplished. I waited in line with her with the rest of the class. Most of the kids had their moms with them as well. After a bit I thought that I should probably leave her...I was afraid what might happened if I walked her into class. The flood gates might open once again! I told her that mama had to get to work and that I was going to go ahead and say good bye to her. She told me she loved me and gave me that confident smile once again. As I started walking away, she yelled back at me, "Oh and mama...tell Daddy that I'm OK!" And, yes the tears started! I nodded my head and blew a kiss (because I couldn't talk) and turned and walked back to the car. We watched her and her class walk into the building and that's how it started. I almost wanted to get a window view from the outside so I could follow what she did while she was there but this was her experience. She had to do this on her own. She's taken the next step in her life and so must I! I did run home though, to catch her getting off the bus on her first day. Hello...it was another Kodak moment. She was all smiles and wanted to fill us in on the events of the day. I'm so happy that Day 1 went well. I pray that Day 2 goes just as good if not better!

4 comments:

Tiffany said...

Okay, tears are streaming down my face as I comment on this post. It was beautifully written, so heartfelt. I feel like life will end when Avery goes to school. I already tear up just thinking about it. Your little Aiva sounds so precious. I hope she has an amazing year in kindergarten. What an amazing responsibility we have being parents. Thanks for sharing your feelings.

Oh, and I love the new blog look! : )

Meggan said...

Thanks Tif...it was such an emotional day...more for me than anyone. It has been so hard for me and I keep telling myself that she's OK and that God loves her so much more than I ever could. It's so hard for me to comprehend that but that's the great part! Now I think I might know how some women feel with post-pardum depression! That's exactly what I'm feeling! Really enjoy your time home with your kids...I know you do but savor every moment. I feel like such an old mom talking!

Aimee Miller said...

Seriously, Meggan! You made me cry, too! I can't imagine how hard that must have been! I'm so glad I have 3 years left before I have to go through it. You are an inspiration, though, for sure! I will be much more confident when my time comes knowing that my friends have made it through! :-)

Meggan said...

Believe me Aimee...I now know what you went through with PPD! The bad thing is that I know she's not filling me in on the details and I want to hear everything! I'm just glad she's having a good time. If I think about it too much I'll be a weaping mess! Enjoy your time...it comes too soon!

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