Wednesday, February 9, 2011


Something happened this morning that just about ripped my heart out. Not literally of course. It started last night when I took the girls out to dinner. I had a heck of a day so I took the girls to Burger King for dinner and thought I'd let them play at the play land. That was a great idea until Ana let me know that her throat hurt...when we got there. Great, I thought. Here we go again. I told her that she could play games on my phone while Aiva played. She was so distraught over not being able to play. We don't do this much because I hate germs and hate my kids being sick so them actually being there was a huge feet in itself! Aiva played for a bit and then I told them it was time to head home. Surprisingly they both cooperated and we were home in minutes. I just knew Ana had strep throat. She just finished up meds two days before from strep throat two weeks ago and I knew it was back. My heart was so heavy for her that all I could stand to do was pray. Nate got in bed with me and we prayed over her little body and that we would all be able to sleep and get rest and that we were so thankful that we could go to the doctor in the morning to get meds so she can be better. First thing in the morning she wanted a cool bath. She knows that when they're sick I'll bath them and powder them and treat them like royalty. They both eat this up! I know she's sick when she wants a bath. Nate helped me out with getting the girls going and other than Ana being sick the morning went smooth. I got Aiva on the bus and then it was time to pile in the car so Nate could take me to work and Ana to the doctor. Ana then announced that she wanted me to go with her. I explained to her that I had to go to work since I was already late but that got her upset. It got me upset too. I'm her momma and I so much wanted to be with her. My heart ached to hold her and comfort her at the doctors but I knew that Nate would be with her and that she'd be in good hands. I asked her who else was going to be there with her and daddy and she answered, "Mamaw?"No...someone bigger. "God", she replied. God is always with us. I explained to her that I would be there with her too but that I was in her heart. Every time the girls are scared or lonely I always draw a little heart on their hand. I've done this for Aiva's first day of school for the past three years. When they're sick I do this and it helps calm them down and bring them some sort of comfort. (This of course is not Ana's hand) As I was drawing Ana's heart, my heart just broke that I couldn't be there with her. I had to keep reminding myself that our God is so much bigger and loves Ana so much more than I ever could. I thought to myself that maybe I should start drawing a heart on my hand to remind myself that God loves us and is always with us. God's heart would probably include a cross in it as well to remind us that God loves us so much more than anyone ever could and that he will always be with us in our heart and one day, soon I hope, we will be with Him.

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