Today was the first day of my bible study, Made to Crave. This is the second time I'm doing it so hopefully something will click...something will change...something big will happen (maybe I should say something small will happen). I'm done with being big but I'm not done with God doing big things! Praying he does amazing things through this study. I pray that I would crave Him instead of other things. I pray that I would turn to Him instead of food. I pray that I would trust in him instead of trust in the feeling of how I hope food will make me feel.
I went to zumba last night and it felt great but I sure didn't like the person who I saw in the mirror. The last time I was at zumba I looked great. I was 20 lbs lighter and my stomach was flatter. Long story short, I'm done with being big and I'm leaving the rest up to God!
Today I weighed in and it was the first time that I stepped on the scale since November. It was a scary thing but I did it. It was one of those quick step on, exhale/say a quick prayer, look, and then step off (like the action didn't happen). The number I saw was one I wasn't proud of but happy that it wasn't bigger. The number was 215.4. I'm in a size 16...it's time for a change! This is the last time I'm going to be this weight. The last time I will feel this way. It's time for me to do something big...with God's help, I know I can do it!