Saturday, September 29, 2007

Dread

Tomorrow is finally D day. The day that I'm officially on the phones. I finished my last day of training yesterday and I'm absolutely dreading stepping into my actual new job. If I could turn the other way and run I probably would. Two Fridays ago I found out that 5 of my teammates and I are moving to another team. They knew at the beginning that five of us would have to leave yet they decided to hold off in telling us. This last week has been long and hard b/c I knew that this day would come that I would have to face the next day with another team. I just want this job to be over. I submitted resumes to quite a few churches so I'm hoping that one of the churches takes an interest in me. Two have actually responded so I'm praying for good things. I know that we are here for something but I'm still waiting for the plan to be unfolded. The good thing about moving here is that I've actually gotten closer to Adriene the gal that WCC hired to replace me. We are so much alike that it's unreal. We sit and gab on the phone like we're been friends forever. I really with that we have become friends sooner. I know that we would have been the best of friends Nate asked me yesterday why I always pick friends that are out of state. It's not like I plan it that way but it just happens. I really wish she were here so we could hang out more. The homesickness is getting better but I'm sure it will creep back up once the holidays arrive. Today Nate and I went shopping for the girls birthday party's. I never knew how difficult that this was going to be. Well see how things unfold. I can already sense a feeling of doubt in having to do this every year. What are we going to do!?! Things with Nate and I seems to be a little strained too. I think it's the whole thing of living with his parents and doing the stay home/working parent thing. I'm hoping that this get better once we do it more often. SO for those of you who might be reading my blog please pray for this church job. I really need this to come through. I really want to be happy and I know that this job at Dell is not it. I'm going to try to stay positive and see what happens but I knwo that I don't want to do this full time for the remaining days that I have. Help. I need your prayers!

Monday, September 17, 2007

Undecided

Well, I've entered into my fourth week of training. Today was the first day for me to be in training half the day and on the phones the other half of the day. I'm still undecided about what I want to do. I keep on telling myself that this is going to be good for my family and for our future but I'm really starting to feel like I don't want to do this and that I would be much happier at WCC. I truly miss my job and I would give anything to go back. I just do feel connected to Dell and I would do anything to go back. I should have seen this coming but I'm really starting to regret the move. I'm going home this weekend and I can hardly wait. I think I might feel better about the job if I were able to go home at Christmas. I really miss my parents and I don't know what I'm going to do if I can't go home for the holidays. I try to be positive for Nate but I really don't like this and I want to go home. He just keeps telling me to stick it out and I want to do everything but that. Every day I pray that God would give me peace and patience as I'm trying to transition to a new job but I'm feeling so overwhelmed. I just want things to feel normal and I don't want to feel like this for months on end. I want things to feel familiar and I really just want to go home. I miss my mom and everything that's right. I'm afraid that the time that I spend in Ohio this weekend will go by so fast and I won't even have a chance to absorb the feeling. This is the first time that I really have thought about my home sickness. I try to put it behind me and not to think about it. I want to give up and go back. I pray that God gives me what I need to get through this week. I hate that I have to count down to the weekend. I don't want my life to be like that...one big count down. That's how I'll miss out on the girls lives. Hopefully the next time that I write I will feel tons better and I'll have a different approach on things. I must be able to feel the Spirit with me or else I'm not going to get through it. Lord help me. Help me to feel you interwoven through out my spirit and go ahead of me and prepare the way.

Saturday, September 8, 2007

Rest

Well, I finally finished my second week of training and I'm so happy that it's over. At lunch yesterday I was thinking about looking for another job but by the time I left I was feeling a little more confident about the whole Dell thing. I was able to sell one real computer and two fake computers yesterday. We had two secret shopper calls and I was able to sell a computer to both and then I had to sit with a mentor before leaving yesterday and I sold a computer to that person as well. All in all it wasn't that bad and I'm starting to feel a little more confident that I'm going to be OK. As long as I see that I'm advancing a little quicker than the others I think I'll be OK. I just don't want to be clueless and make a fool out of myself. After the week that I had I felt that rest was finally due me. We were supposed to go to the TN fair today but Nate was sick do we decided to hang at home. A great idea I feel. It was good to not have to do anything. After studying and molding into a sponge through the week it was good to not have to think of anything. I was able to chat with my parents a couple times today and we even gave the web cam a try with unfortunately no success. Hopefully tomorrow we can have some luck. I think I got us hooked up with Pal Talk so we're going to give it a whirl tomorrow. My dad sent some pics today that I had a ball looking at. Makes me miss home but I loved to take a mental road trip. Makes me long for September 22 weekend all the more. I think I'm going to be able to come home. My trainer said that we're going to be in training from 8-5 for the next few weeks but I'm praying that it's still going to be Monday through Friday for at least a few weeks too. We'll see. I keep praying! Well, I have to cut outta here I want to cozy on up in bed with a magazine and just veg out before I have to wake up to the kids wailing and getting into things that they shouldn't! Here;s to a great rest of the weekend and an even better week. Au revoir!

Monday, September 3, 2007

Home

Well I've finally completed week one. I'm not sure how much I'm going to like my new job but I'm going to do it with all that I have. So far it hasn't been the toughest. I guess I'm most concerned about the selling part of the job. I hope that the case with computer's is the same with the case for jewelry...it sells itself! Tomorrow I'm going to start my second week. I'm also going to have a mid-term this week so we'll see how well I do. I'm a little nervous but I'm glad that it's multiple choice! This was a three day weekend so I had an extra day to re-group and get ready for the work week. I'm trying not to think about the week that lies ahead. What I am thinking about is the tickets that my mother in law got me. She got me tickets to the Point of Grace concert on Sunday. I'm going to try to focus on that this week. I'm really missing home tonight. I miss my mom and her smile. I wish she were sitting here beside me so we can have one of chick-chats. I miss my dad and his laugh. I would probably listen to one of his talks about XF Electric if it would take me back home. I looked at a picture of our old house on Saturday and it brought tears to my eyes. I'm really hoping that Aiva hasn't forgotten about her Mamaw and Papaw. I miss her always talking about them. I miss the comfort of my parents home...it's always so welcoming. I guess that's something that I'm going to look forward to in the upcoming weeks. I really hope that I have the weekend off so we can go to Jared's wedding. Not so much for the wedding but so I can see my mom and dad. Mom and dad if your reading this know that I miss you so much. I'm sorry that we had to take this extreme measure to improve our life. I'm not sure if I would do it again but I'm hoping that God uses this to better our family, our finances and our faith. I can't tell you enough how much my heart aches to not have the time with you today...when families are gathering and cooking-out and spending time together. I wish so much for that time to come soon. I love you both and can't wait to see you. Wish me luck this week!

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