Decisions

OK, I'm getting to the point where I'm getting mentally frazzled with what to do. Yesterday, I got a call from Dell and they offered me the job. Today when I called they told me that they wanted me to start on the 13 of August. That was a big shock. I had originally called to let them know that I needed a few days to think about things and then the guy that I was talking to said that they had another class on Aug. 27 and that they could get me signed up for that one. I told him that was fine but I still needed time to think about it. I guess I'm still praying for what to do. I feel like I'm supposed to stay here at WCC but at the same time I know that things would be great if I could get this job and get our debt paid off. I'm just asking for more clarity and that God would give us the answer b/c I don't want to make the decisions. Help!

Decided/Undecided

Well, I've finally hit the stage where I'm officially undecided about Nashville. I don't know why I was so settled on moving and now I'm not...try explaining that to Nate. right now he is so fed up with me that I can't believe it. I've finally come to the decision that I'm ready to stay at the church. I love my job and I want to stay here. There's something about feeling secure and loving your job that I don't want to move away from. I can't describe it. Call me crazy. I just hate that I have a tough time of making up my mind. I feel sorry for Nate with dealing with that. Sorry hun! So, the plan is to find Nate a job. I'm determined though to find something that he will love. I know it's out there...we just have to find it. I'm happy though that I'll be sticking around here. I finally feel at peace and I think that's the peace that only God can give me. The tough part is going to be telling his parents that we're not longer headed that way. I think it's really going to break their heart. Lord help them! We're scheduled to fly down there in about 3 weeks so we just might have to do it then. I am looking forward to another break...like a mini vacation! Until I'm ready to breath easy and relax a little. It's summer for Pete's sake!! Can't I enjoy it a little?!?

Relieved

Well it finally Saturday and I can say that my interview is finally over and all I have to do now is just wait. I was fully prepared and now it's in God's hands. I can't believe how great it went. I think I was almost too prepared because when it was over I felt like, "Wow...that's it?" I gave it my all and that was all I can do. Now the hard part comes...waiting. Nate is going to set up and interview in Columbus and then we'll wait after that to make a decision. At this point, I just can't wait to get back home. I think I'm getting home sick which that's not such a great thing. I had a great day of shopping and I think that made me feel tons better about the weekend...somewhat like the weekend was a success! I got some outfits for Aiva plus a few good books. I can't wait to sink my teeth into them! Well, I have to go. Ana is tearing up Dan's office and Aiva is going to wake up soon. Talk to you back home!

Tuesday

In getting prepared for if we move I thought it was a good idea to start brainstorming for someone to take my position at work. I don't want to leave them in a bind since they've been so good to me. I love my job and I really enjoy everyone who I work with. If things move forward I'm really going to hate leaving this place. OK, back to what I was talking about before. I was thinking about this gal who had originally applied for another job that we had here available awhile ago but didn't end up getting the job. I recently had the chance to meet her. When she came in for her interview I had the day off and didn't get to see who she was. I've seen her at church but never knew her name. So, after thinking about it one nigh at an absurd hour I thought I would shoot her an email to see what her job status was. My email was nothing earth moving or earth shattering but what I got back as a reply that nearly broke my heart. She's been in a position at a doctor's office where she's being verbally and emotionally abused. Why it broke my heart so much is because I was in her boat and it took working at the church to build my self esteem and my self worth to get me to overcome what I did at the office where I was. I have nothing but good vibes coming from this situation. I really hope that I'll be able to get this job at Dell and she can come in and take over my job where she'll be loved and treasured. Not only that but that she can heal. I feel like that's what I've been able to do while working here. I'm so thankful that God has mended my heart and I can say that I'm a better person for what I went through. I pray the same for her. We're going to grab some lunch next week and chat. Hopefully, not only can God get her out of the situation that she's in but I can gain a new friend. Here's to next week!

HOT

Too bad I just can't take my computer outside and type this. I'm in our kitchen and it's blistering hot. I've been on the web for about 15 minutes and I'm ready to type this and put my head in the freezer to cool down. This week I have my interview with Dell and needless to day I'm extremely nervous. I've been going to bed every night putting together sales pitches and trying to come up with something that's going to wow the people who I'm interviewing with. Nate said something today that just about knocked me off my rocker. He said, "Just give it to God." My thought was, "Easier said than done." After going to church though and hearing Tommy Oaks preach, who I totally love hearing, Nate's advice seems a little easier to handle. I know that I can give this over to God and that he will be there to guide me and give me words when I'm at a loss for them. I stress the later. I think I'm having such a hard time about this because I know that this is it. This is my chance to break through. But at the same time I'm thinking of not being there when my girls grow up and that breaks my heart. That's when I get chocked up. Makes me realize how many days I would have done things differently with them and enjoyed them a little more. Makes me promise myself that the days to come are going to be different because if I get this job our life is going to be a lot different. Life isn't easy and it's time to leave a job that's "safe" for me and move to one of uncertainty and new things. I'm ready to take the plunge but I'm going to need God's help in doing so. I pray he'll be my feet when I can't walk in the door and my hands when I shake the one extended out to me, the smile to a new face, and the words to ears who might be judging me. God lift me up in this time and carry me because I know I can't do it without you.

Relief

Yes, that's exactly how I feel. I finally got a call back from Dell. The gal I talked to was very personable and it made me all the more excited about working there. She talked to me about what to expect during my interview (which is 4-5 hours) and was so kind to tell me that at the end of a very long day I'd have to give a sales pitch. If you know anything about me you know that this is something you will close to never hear come out of my mouth. Even though I've had my own company (yes...I totally forgot about jewelry) I'm not the most confident person when it comes to selling. I guess that's one of the things that I'm hoping to become if I get this job. I'm very excited about learning and becoming someone who I never thought could be. Who knows...maybe we'll end up in Nashville after all. Don't worry mom and dad...I'll be back often to visit. I better not talk so prematurely. I better keep praying that this might work out...and for God to give me some words during my sales pitch. I know He knows I'll need it! That's it for now. More to come later! I'm just so excited!!

Patience

Greetings!
When I was trying to come up with a name for my blog I kept running into brick walls. I had to settle for Macedonian Hillbilly for that is what I am. My grandmother and her family came over from Macedonia and my grandfather is well....a hillbilly. You guessed it. I have high hopes of traveling to Macedonia to see where my family came from one day. There is a girl that I went to high school with that is traveling abroad that I've become somewhat jealous of. She's had the opportunity to travel for 4 months and see the world. All over...Japan, Thailand, Rome and Paris. I believe she's headed to Africa as I type. Anyway, it's been fun to see stories of her travels and see the pictures of where she's been. I can't wait for my time.

Currently, I've been praying for patience. Nate and I are praying about where we'll end up. We're not sure if we're to stay in Columbus or if we're to move to Nashville. The idea of moving someplace different is exciting but the thought of leaving family and everything we know is a little scary. I'm sure when the time comes God will make it abundantly clear...at least that's what I'm praying. For now I just have to be patient and rely on God to direct us and lead us to where He wants us.